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MULTITASKER GIRL - IT RAINS AND IT POURS
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Sunday, January 27, 2008
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I can't do half ass blogs, it is not me. I've tried and it's made a mess of my blog. And for fuck's sake it's my blog. I don't even know how to do this anymore then. It just all muddled with fake truths. I can't really be muddled here, I'm muddled enough as it is.
One last one, but that's it. Names will come flying.
Last night was meant to be social obligations only. Friends' birthday. I started out at Heroes. Two drinks. Drove to Jerry's celebrated Amanda's birthday, watched a band. One drink, one shot. Drove back downtown, got stuck (literally) on railroad tracks and made my way to Boulevard. Glass of water. Then shit hits the fan all around.
Not because I'm not growned up, but because others can't be. I am bombarded with EVERYBODY's feelings and conflicts. Really, you be responsible for your feelings, as I am responsible for mine, and if by this age you don't know how to handle your feelings, your fault, not mine. Enough said. So I have feelings being thrown from one side, and conflict on another. Oh, poor thing, his friends like me. Now what do we do? He's just trying to be a good friend. I should make myself less likable, that will keep things on the up and up, and then no more conflicts. Yay!
Really I know where everyone's coming from here. But why am I compensating for something that they should be dealing with. I have feelings and conflicts and I don't throw them at anyone else's face, (except Becky, but she's obligated.) After 4 years of being in a disfunctional relationship the last thing I want is a disfunctional NON-relationship. Yes, I am not even dating anybody and I have to deal with this.
Well, one I've decided I must stop talking to for a bit. I mean I cancelled plans with him telling him, it's for the best, to keep things straight for a bit, and then after last night, it's clear. He won't let things be kept straight therefore I'm forcing him. The other one, I've been talking to since I left the bar last night. He thinks I need to understand him better. (No one yet has mentioned trying to understand me.) We'll see where that one goes.
WANTED: Someone to rescue me from the land of the self-involved.
Anyway, got work and school coming up and a ton of laundry to do. Everything pauses. I'm syncing the blackberry again tonight. This time, if you're not in my calendar, then you wait your god damn turn. |
posted by Jenni @ 6:05 PM  |
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Umm, sounds like you need YOU time and a day spa. That was a bit more twisted up than you have time for, me thinks ;)
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Umm, sounds like you need YOU time and a day spa. That was a bit more twisted up than you have time for, me thinks ;)