IM'd my friend JJ to tell me a joke, he takes a minute and sends me the link to this:
This man was in an accident at work, so he filled out an insurance claim. The insurance company contacted him and asked for more information. This was his response:
"I am writing in response to your request for additional information, for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient. I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80-foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now unneeded tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using the pulley attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower. Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow decent of the 300 pounds of tools."
"You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh only 155 pounds. Due to my surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel."
"Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, and the lacerations of my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools and, fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the tools, in pain, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind. I let go of the rope..."
Hahahahahahahahaha! So, awesome!
Well, the rest of the blog is for Becky, since she texted me this morning saying she felt left out.
A brief synopsis - Adam and I broke up. I got to keep his sweater. He is keeping the dvd's of The Office that Wayne burned for me. (Sorry, Wayne. They had sentimental value but I is scared to come around his bandmates still.) Long story short, it wasn't meant to be. I actually still have the voicemail from our first date, after he walked out on me, and told me that "we just don't mesh" because he has "integrity". I like it. Correction ... I love it! It's the best story I have to tell. I play the voicemail over and over again, because 1) I still do miss his voice and 2) the irony is hilarious.
Now, what I've done to recuperate. I am procrastinating on taking that shower. Yeah, ew! You trying functioning after being stomped on and broken. Also procrastinating on doing any laundry, though I'm sure I will do it here in the next 10 minutes if I plan on being able to go out tonight wearing clean clothes. Yes, I will shower before leaving the house too, buttheads! I have sent my resume to every place imaginable, just because I can, and I spent so much time making it impressive I thought people just had to read it. And I've decided to start working out, join a gym, sent a modeling agency my pictures (you can't get rejected too many times in the same month), and I've decided to become a Marketing major. A lot of thinking, been in bed for a couple of days now.
Anyway, going out tonight to meet Carla to do our usual. I'm hoping for fun distraction and no more drama. Please, oh please!
Okay, that's it I think. I didn't miss anything did I? Um, yes, Becky if you're asking about Ray, he's being super supportive. He has offered to take me away to Vegas. It was supposed to be my graduation present anyway. He's also offered to be there if I need to just hang out or talk to someone. I told him that I didn't want to do that to him though. Things are too crazy. He understood. Jen and Matt will kick me for saying this, but I really think he's changed. Lord knows, I've said that so many times before though. So I will just lay low. A new personal mantra - lay low.
Was that it? I feel like I'm still missing something. Usually when Becky and I have our catch up calls they last for hours, until my battery dies. Well, the weekend is almost here, and feel free to email me, woman.
Okay, since I'm trying to get back to me, here's a mother fucking sing along:
Duffy - Mercy
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I love you But I gotta stay true My moral’s got me on my knees I’m begging please Stop playing games
I don’t know what this is But you got me good Just like you knew you would I don’t know what you do But you do it well I’m under your spell
You got me begging you for mercy Why won’t you release me You got me begging you for mercy Why won’t you release me I said you better release me
Now you think that I Will be some thing on the side But you got to understand That I need a man Who can take my hand, yes I do
I don’t know what this is But you got me good Just like you knew you would I don’t know what you do But you do it well I’m under your spell
You got me begging you for mercy Why won’t you release me You got me begging you for mercy Why won’t you release me I said you better release me
I’m begging you for mercy Just why won’t you release me I’m begging you for mercy You got me begging You got me begging You got me begging
Mercy Why won’t you release me I’m begging you for mercy Why wont you release me You got me begging you for mercy I’m begging you for mercy I’m begging you for mercy I’m begging you for mercy I’m begging you for mercy Why won’t you release me Bring it on
Mercy Begging you for mercy You got me begging Down on my knees I said mercy Begging you for mercy You got me begging
SOOOOO???? How was the first day of work?? :)