Both Adam and Jennifer have mentioned a changed in my writing style. They are concerned I have lost my fire. A simple explanation: I work at the front desk temporarily, and therefore blogging on the sly is not as easy and can be a bit rushed.
No fire missing here.
I spent most of last week with Adam. Between the both of us we realized we spend way too much money on eating out. He has mentioned that he wished someone would help him manage his money like Mom is doing with me. You know, have random calls saying "You tip too much." and "Did you know you spend more in one day than you make in one day?" Little things that you knew was happening but you still need someone else to call you out on.
It felt like the week including the weekend went by fast. I had my training at the new bar. And Adam had band practices for the weekend gig. We did manage to sneak in a visit to the mall and even a matinee movie. We went to see Love Guru, which was not as good as anticipated. They went a little overboard with the bathroom humor and the corny jokes.
I'm looking forward to next weekend being a good movie weekend since Wanted will be out. I have been waiting for that movie for a good two months now.
Then the weekend after next is July 4th weekend and Adam and I will be relaxing with my best bud, Becky. Very excited. I think I can even talk the girl I work with to trade shifts with me so we can start driving out at 3pm instead of 6pm that Thursday. Give us a little more time with sunlight to enjoy the view.
Today's been a goofy sort of Monday. Adam came by to drop of food again and caught me with my glasses off. I didn't see him nor recognize the blur so I disregarded him until I realized the blur was dropping off a sandwich for me. Yikes! Then also the baby talking personality came out randomly, which aggravates the girl beside me to no end. And you can't make it go away by yelling at it, it hurts its feelings, and makes it worse. I had to nap it off during my lunch time.
Well, here's my blog for the day. It's still rushed but hopefully with the same fire everyone's been missing. If not, cut me some slack. I'm multitasking!
So for the past 4 days I've been working at the office until 6pm and then driving straight to the new bar I'll be working at to have meetings, usually until 9pm. Wednesday night my dinner was a hotdog from QT, a ton of chips and Famous Amos cookies. Thursday night I had chili cheese Fritos from the Pumphouse. It's not healthy food but it is food. I take my medicine with my dinner so it's not a meal I plan to miss.
Tonight I get off work, and don't have any bar meetings so I plan on napping until Adam is done with band practice. Perhaps will have a quite night of dinner and movies or perhaps not. Depending on how he feels later on.
I wrote my uncle back home another letter. I've been writing him since I felt really bad that the last time I spoke with him he was crying. It means I haven't done a good job trying to stay in touch. I'm a sucky niece, but atleast I'm trying to make amends. I'm thinking of hitting Walgreens or Walmart sometime this weekend and printing some pics to send with the letter. I'm sure it'll be more than appreciated.
Adam was talking about traveling again overseas this September and I saw this and saw the relevance so I decided to post: (* I myself have not watched the video below as I blog, because watching vids might get me in trouble at work, but I will watch it as soon as I get to the next out-of-the-office computer.)
Adam has been ubber sweet as of late. The last two days he's dropped by my work to drop off food for lunch. He's also met me after the bar meetings to eat dinner with me twice now. And this morning (I spent the night last night) he got the cereal out for me, and I actually had a good breakfast. I drank a glass of milk with it and everything. I drove to work very happy and awake. I realized that Adam is very condusive to a healthy lifestyle. He's motivated so then I feel like I have to be motivated too just to keep up. He's allergic to a lot of stuff and doesn't smoke, so whenever I'm with him I feel bad about smoking, and his car is also non smoking. (Which since he got the Jag he's been driving everywhere everytime we go out now.) And he has this policy of not drinking during the weekdays so...well, I'm not allowed to drink anymore, anyway. Not to mention he's very level headed most of the time, so it evens me out as well. He's just your everyday all around great guy.
Ah, enough about that. Now that I am at work I'm seriously bored. (Well outside of the emergency call I got asking for someone who knew CPR for the 1st level. Paramedics came and everything is A-ok again.) After work I have another bar meeting. (We got our shirts already and Adam seemed to really like it. =D) After the bar meeting I'm gonna try to go to Barleycorn's to see a friend's band. Tomorrow I have to be at work by 9am. This is going to be a challenge since Adam and I were still fighting leaving the bed at 8:00 this morning. I hope I make it in on time. That's all I have so far. Will blog more as things progress.
So, my last hour at work. I get everything set and done for when I leave. I contact Colorado venues via email regarding booking a Wichita band for their venues, which is part of my new internship. I'm answering the phones and talking to people as they pass by intermittently. I'm craving Doritos and planning on sneaking a bite in between my drive from this job to my other job (not the internship.) Yes, I am back in the game, and I am loving it.
This is my swirl. Everything has fallen nicely in place for me. I would like to thank everyone that supported me during the hard times: My family, not just Mom and Dad, but the Cannady's as well, and well, everyone else that had to put up with it. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I think I feel better now.
I had a great weekend starting with Carl's going away bash at O'brien's. It was not as aggravating as I thought it would be (considering I couldn't drink) and I saw a lot of faces from yesterdays gone that I really missed seeing. Adam and I left early to chill out and relax. We watched The Last of the Mohicans on DVD, one of those movies you can feel okay falling asleep through.
We slept in Saturday and then ate lunch at Italian Garden. We went to the Season's After's CD Release party which started at 3:30 that afternoon. It was actually pretty cool. Meri came out and kept me company for most of it since Adam had to leave for band practice midway through the show. Meri ate dinner with us as well and returned back to Liquid with us to see Skinny and Signum play. There were lots of work people there as well as some friends of Meri's from high school so plenty to entertain. We left before close because of early Sunday plans.
Sunday was brunch at Legend's with Mom and Dad. Pretty chill and relaxing meal, and then Adam and I went to the mall, and then watched a movie at the Warren. "The Happening" is not a great movie, and I walked out of the theater quite disappointed, but the appreciation comes the next day, when I'm outside trying not to make eye contact with the trees. Go watch the movie and see what I'm talking about.
BTW, I also got an Ashes Divide concert t-shirt out of the whole deal. From Adam's last visit to KC for Rockfest. w00t! I'm gonna wash it and rock it out! Thank you again, Bebi!
Stuck at work for about another hour. This is getting dreary but there is light at the end of the tunnel - I go back to my original department on July 14th. w00t! I'm sure I'll be cursing myself for wanting to be there so badly come tax season, but right now, this front desk clock watching is about to kill me.
Happy to report as well that I believe I have gotten used to the medicine. Is it working already? Doubtful, they say it usually takes 2 - 3 weeks to kick in. I am however feeling less drowsy, less lethargic, and more HAPPY. Again the happy thing could just be from the good sleep but either way I'll take it.
Adam took my to Chester's last night and the food was AWESOME and a bit pricey. After that he came over to my parents house and visited since I didn't know how well I could drive on the medicine still. I think though after this weekend I can get a pattern down.
Tonight I'm supposed to meet with Joe Roach at Liquid to talk about my summer interning with him. I'm so excited! This is going to be the most awesome thing to put on my resume. Well, that and perhaps a bachelor's degree with honors. All in good time though.
Anyway, the much awaited pictures from the Adam's cousin's wedding:
By the way, I found out that I have a 4 day weekend for the 4th of July due to the building being closed that day. I have decided on going to Memphis. I usually drive but with my car's condition (nothing broken just getting old) as it is, I will have to do some really maintenance before that. Like new tires and new timing belt. Maybe I should start clocking in some overtime, right?
You can probably tell from the picture above that Adam and I have decided to give it another go. It's been an easy transition, especially now that he has moved out of living with his bandmates. It's a lot easier to separate your personal life and your business when you don't live with your coworkers, right?
Anyway, he's been real patient with me as well, since I've been going through some transitions of my own. New meds being a major change. He actually had to drive me home Sunday because of strong drowsiness. A side effect I did not expect.
I've been keeping a journal on how I'm getting along with the medicine, and I think I'm slowly starting to build a tolerance to it, as I do with most substances. But I like the fact that when I'm tired, it does get me to sleep readily.
So basically, from the pattern I've seen this week, I have 3 to 4 hours after taking the meds of restlessness then the minute I stop and lay down I'm out. But I've never had problems waking up early in the morning regardless of what time I go to bed. That I think is due to the deep sleep I get when I take the meds. As for Sunday's super exaggerate drowsiness, I think it was aggravated by the fact that I had been drinking heavily the night before. So now, I'm slowly getting better.
It usually takes a week or two for the meds to kick in, but definitely with getting better sleep at night I wake up more refreshed and less stressed out, so always a plus.
Anyway, I am still at work and I'm waiting for relief so I can go on a break. I have pictures from Adam's cousin's wedding I still need to post. Next time, surely.
Got called back to work a month earlier than expected. I actually started again last Friday. They needed help covering the front desk. This will be my gig for 5 weeks, and hoping I can move back up to Software Support after that. I also have a meeting tonight with the crew at a new club downtown. Hoping that working part time there will help with money flow, plus my social life since I am going to be cutting off alcohol for awhile. I am also using this as a networking tool because the third thing I've signed up for is a free summer intern for Mr. Joe Roach of Roach Entertainment. I am actually most excited about that. I hope this all pans out well for me. (Oh, and have I mentioned I've switched majors to Public Relations! Yay, me!)
So back to being busy, all of this on top of my Phi Theta Kappa stuff. This includes reading The Overspent American by Juliet Schor and summer planning. Ah, and that reminds me that I need to make an officer's report for the meeting coming up next week. Hmmmm...
Well, certainly before all of this can be done I must do something about my nails. That's it, I think. I'll post more as they develop.
IM'd my friend JJ to tell me a joke, he takes a minute and sends me the link to this:
This man was in an accident at work, so he filled out an insurance claim. The insurance company contacted him and asked for more information. This was his response:
"I am writing in response to your request for additional information, for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient. I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80-foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now unneeded tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using the pulley attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower. Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow decent of the 300 pounds of tools."
"You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh only 155 pounds. Due to my surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel."
"Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, and the lacerations of my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools and, fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the tools, in pain, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind. I let go of the rope..."
Hahahahahahahahaha! So, awesome!
Well, the rest of the blog is for Becky, since she texted me this morning saying she felt left out.
A brief synopsis - Adam and I broke up. I got to keep his sweater. He is keeping the dvd's of The Office that Wayne burned for me. (Sorry, Wayne. They had sentimental value but I is scared to come around his bandmates still.) Long story short, it wasn't meant to be. I actually still have the voicemail from our first date, after he walked out on me, and told me that "we just don't mesh" because he has "integrity". I like it. Correction ... I love it! It's the best story I have to tell. I play the voicemail over and over again, because 1) I still do miss his voice and 2) the irony is hilarious.
Now, what I've done to recuperate. I am procrastinating on taking that shower. Yeah, ew! You trying functioning after being stomped on and broken. Also procrastinating on doing any laundry, though I'm sure I will do it here in the next 10 minutes if I plan on being able to go out tonight wearing clean clothes. Yes, I will shower before leaving the house too, buttheads! I have sent my resume to every place imaginable, just because I can, and I spent so much time making it impressive I thought people just had to read it. And I've decided to start working out, join a gym, sent a modeling agency my pictures (you can't get rejected too many times in the same month), and I've decided to become a Marketing major. A lot of thinking, been in bed for a couple of days now.
Anyway, going out tonight to meet Carla to do our usual. I'm hoping for fun distraction and no more drama. Please, oh please!
Okay, that's it I think. I didn't miss anything did I? Um, yes, Becky if you're asking about Ray, he's being super supportive. He has offered to take me away to Vegas. It was supposed to be my graduation present anyway. He's also offered to be there if I need to just hang out or talk to someone. I told him that I didn't want to do that to him though. Things are too crazy. He understood. Jen and Matt will kick me for saying this, but I really think he's changed. Lord knows, I've said that so many times before though. So I will just lay low. A new personal mantra - lay low.
Was that it? I feel like I'm still missing something. Usually when Becky and I have our catch up calls they last for hours, until my battery dies. Well, the weekend is almost here, and feel free to email me, woman.
Okay, since I'm trying to get back to me, here's a mother fucking sing along:
Duffy - Mercy
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I love you But I gotta stay true My moral’s got me on my knees I’m begging please Stop playing games
I don’t know what this is But you got me good Just like you knew you would I don’t know what you do But you do it well I’m under your spell
You got me begging you for mercy Why won’t you release me You got me begging you for mercy Why won’t you release me I said you better release me
Now you think that I Will be some thing on the side But you got to understand That I need a man Who can take my hand, yes I do
I don’t know what this is But you got me good Just like you knew you would I don’t know what you do But you do it well I’m under your spell
You got me begging you for mercy Why won’t you release me You got me begging you for mercy Why won’t you release me I said you better release me
I’m begging you for mercy Just why won’t you release me I’m begging you for mercy You got me begging You got me begging You got me begging
Mercy Why won’t you release me I’m begging you for mercy Why wont you release me You got me begging you for mercy I’m begging you for mercy I’m begging you for mercy I’m begging you for mercy I’m begging you for mercy Why won’t you release me Bring it on
Mercy Begging you for mercy You got me begging Down on my knees I said mercy Begging you for mercy You got me begging
Okay, I think I can get a hold of myself now. Besides, I got a really cool sweater out of the deal =D (Ah, a joke, I feel myself getting back to normal already.) I don't understand the freak out. Really, I was ready to let go all of it, but he calls and he says he just needs me to "support" him and "stay" with him and lord knows I'm a sucker for those things.
Anyway, back on track. Shook off psychotic thoughts, (filed away for entertainment purposes when needed again,) rewrote my resume and sent off to a couple places. I have a strange urge to pack the laptop off and visit The Perk but that would require showering, dressing and doing something with my hair. Maybe I'm not ready for all of that quite yet. One more nap. One more nap and then back to To-do's. Yes, you heard it here folks, I have yet again, my own To-do's.
I need to do laundry. Neglected from my weekend "runaway" and should include bed sheets.
Find the awesomest journal ever, and the bestest pen, because that's the way to all sunny days.
Put outfits together and update my social calendar. Out and out I must be.
While updating my social calendar, I'm sure I have social obligations coming up as well, I just have to go see.
Cut my hair. Color my hair. Something. My hair somehow has absorbed all the hatred I've got. So I hate my hair.
Still need new tires.
Still need to get all my old phones together to send back home.
If possible I would prefer running the steam vac through my car too.
And as always, I am now tired from just writing all of those. Happy napping, everybody!
Either way, allow me a day or so of wallowing in self-pity. Should be back to normal soon.
I Only Want You
From between the sheets Straight into the fire A boy met by happenstance Became my one true desire I'll deal with the devil If him I'll acquire I'll make myself his queen And never retire
Emotion that can't be swayed I only want you The fantasy of love and romance I'll make it all come true Now the only lie remains Is that I'm meant to be with you I only want you
I melt with his eyes And sink into his skin Prayers of lust from his tongue Absolves my every sin I've created a pedestal Never caring where he's been The past is an enemy He and I will both win
Emotion that can't be swayed I only want you The fantasy of love and romance I'll make it all come true Now the only lie remains Is that I'm meant to be with you I only want you
From between the sheets A ring of thorns A martyr I made With a pair of horns By happenstance I met him And our passion was born A fantasy we created Never to be torn
